Prompt #5: Pen and Paper: Then I felt my cheeks turn rosy pink________ (finish the story.)

 

“Honestly, I can’t believe this situation is happening”, I thought to myself as I sat typing I my computer. I had spent the afternoon talking to various friends online when I noticed a certain guys name pop up on my friends list. This guy just happened to be someone I had fancied for a number of months without ever really doing anything about it. We started chatting about school and teachers and friends we had in common, the usual things that class mates talk about. I had not had the courage to try and get to know this guy in the past but had admired him from a distance. Today however I decided I needed to be brave, I don’t know if I hoped it would change anything or whether it might lighten the weight of my feelings. But I decided I needed to tell him my secret.

As much as nervousness can show in typed text I think it was on full display. But I finally blurted out “You know that unsigned note that was given to you…..it was from me…”, I could feel myself getting more anxious and embarrassed as I waited for the reply that seemed to take forever. Then his reply came, “Yeah I know. The person you asked to pass it to me told me who it was after I teased them and told them I thought it was a note they had written”. As I read his words I felt my cheeks turn rosy pink and my breath came out in a rush.

What a let down, after all that time and anxiety. I couldn’t tell whether I was more disappointed and embarrassed that I had confessed my feelings to someone who had already known or that I had felt so much for someone who without question had not recognized or returned my feelings…. As I sat at my computer some time later after ending one of the most embarrassing conversations I had had to date, I realized that I had achieved something. Finally I had been able to honestly put my feelings out to this guy and get an answer without being put off by all my usual insecurities and issues. It was a moment of growth and courage, although I could still feel the blush of embarrassment thinking about that confession I felt better for it.