Wednesday, September 5, 2012
The Spirit of a Freedom Seeker or Disillusioned Deserter
Again my Facebook wanderings have presented me with a gem, in the form of a bloggers entry presented as a letter to their homeland in critique of its rejection or ignorance of its diverse population.
Here is the link if you are interested:
http://youdonthavetoagree.wordpress.com/2012/09/02/letter-to-singapore/#comment-263
I was fascinated by both the bloggers entry and the multitude of varied responses it received. It so intrigued me that I was inspired to leave a response myself, which is below.
"It is not just the young of Singapore who may feel the pull to explore the places where “the grass is greener” or where adventure and new opportunities are offered, those are qualities shared by many people around the globe. That spirit to explore, experience and have freedom is what moved human society from where it began to where it is today. It is what sent the explorers out into the unknown to find other strange and wonderful places and what continues to drive our exploration of this planet and outer space.
By exploring and travelling people have learned new skills and been inspired to create new things. They have gone back and shared these things with their home countries in most cases. So I think that all those who leave their homelands, whether it is to travel or emmigrate, they are not abandoning their country to remain in a static state but continue to add to the system.They will be in some way playing a part in the cultural shift or status quo by feeding ideas in their communities and spawning conversations which could spark change.
I agree that this young writer is romanticizing their experience, but they have admitted that themselves. This doesn’t make the points they have raised any less worth considering. It seems like the main point is not just that this person has become disenchanted with the preoccupations of their home country but by the way in which that effects the greater society. The experience of not being accepted is the quickest way for a society to lose people.
Shutting out those who are too old, too strange or don’t fit in some other way is only creating lost opportunities of finding new ways to do things or understand things. If an individual is only kept in the work force when/if they are at their peak ability both physically and mentally then we are losing the wisdom of the elders and the creativity and energy of the young. Also the traditional views of those with disabilities being unable to contribute means the abiliities of these individuals is left untapped.
I don’t say these things with the view that inclusion and acceptance is something to be pushed because of its economic value but rather its social value. Our communities would be richer by having greater diversity and the prevalence of social issues such as crime and poverty would concievably be reduced. These things aren’t based on idealism, there are case studies to support it.
The perspective that Singapore is protectionist and unwilling or unable to change due to perceived threats from outside and inside its borders is probably quite true, but what isn’t is the assumption or implication that Singapore is the only country like that. The fact is that many other nations around the world have some variety of this stance as well. It is this self perpetuating fear or suspicion of the “other” and its associated greed that is holding us all back from being able to make the big changes that will benefit all communities globally.
It is only when we stop our process of seeking, exploring and challenging that our cultures will stop changing. I fervently pray that such a day never comes, as that will be the day we lose our ability to adapt. And as things are and will continue to be in the future in terms of need and limited resources our adaptability will be even more critical to our existence, in a world that I hope is still worth being part of."
This really jumped out at me as an example of what many countries and communities are dealing with, what is our identity?, where do we go in the future?, how do we get there? and many other such questions. But not all countries are taking into consideration how to get everyone into the future. This is where those of us that can need to speak up and work toward making our communities somewhere that we can all participate and contribute. Because it should not just be what we can get from our communities and what they 'owe' us, but what we can give and do for them.
Thursday, August 23, 2012
Questioning the questions of the everyday
In my daily meanderings of Facebook I came across a brief but brilliant video....
This guys (Taylor Mali) speaks simply and powerfully about the increasing uncertainty in the way we communicate and connect with each other. I have written and talked before about the power of communicating and connecting as part of our growth and development as individuals. The sharing of stories, opinions and knowledge is also critical for the development of our communities and countries as things are shared with the next generation. But it seems that although many people still recognize the importance of stories and orating in this process, it seems that somewhere along the way, certainly in developed Western countries, our communication has become jumbled and fragmented. Somehow reminiscent of a jumble of binary code that scrambles the contents of a computer file.
I know it is the very nature of language and culture to adapt and change. That is how as a species we have survived. But I cant help think that the trends in language, these -isms, that are becoming more common are having a significant and potentially negative impact on the eloquence and intelligence with which we communicate.
This may just be me but I would swear that peoples IQ drops by a point every time they add an unnecessary 'like' or 'totally', or other such fillers to their sentences.The same effect applies if they add a question mark to what would otherwise be a statement, though that suggests more a lack of certainty or confidence. It just seems to me that the person either; hasn't thought through what they want to say; they are trying to talk too fast and their thoughts cant keep up with their mouth or they simply don't understand or don't believe enough in what they are saying. I say this while completely owning up to the fact that I have also picked up some of these habits, at times worse then others, as well as the fact that my vocabulary on an everyday level has reduced. But seeing this video has reminded me of why I want to make an effort to stop myself from replicating these mannerisms of speech.
It seems important to do this because communicating, particularly when it comes to expressing an opinion is key to how our lives run. Right from the day to day small things, all the way to our participation in political discussion and contribution to how our communities function. This is especially true for people who are disadvantaged in the eyes of the crowd because of being different in some way, like a disability. That in itself can lead people to misunderstand or judge, so it is my mission to make myself as eloquent and well spoken as possible. Hopefully this will be some encouragement to the next generation of orators, who will take our place as the voice of our communities in the future. So I urge everyone to take a second the next time you want to express yourself and think about the things you want to say and what effect it will have on those to come.
I know it is the very nature of language and culture to adapt and change. That is how as a species we have survived. But I cant help think that the trends in language, these -isms, that are becoming more common are having a significant and potentially negative impact on the eloquence and intelligence with which we communicate.
This may just be me but I would swear that peoples IQ drops by a point every time they add an unnecessary 'like' or 'totally', or other such fillers to their sentences.The same effect applies if they add a question mark to what would otherwise be a statement, though that suggests more a lack of certainty or confidence. It just seems to me that the person either; hasn't thought through what they want to say; they are trying to talk too fast and their thoughts cant keep up with their mouth or they simply don't understand or don't believe enough in what they are saying. I say this while completely owning up to the fact that I have also picked up some of these habits, at times worse then others, as well as the fact that my vocabulary on an everyday level has reduced. But seeing this video has reminded me of why I want to make an effort to stop myself from replicating these mannerisms of speech.
It seems important to do this because communicating, particularly when it comes to expressing an opinion is key to how our lives run. Right from the day to day small things, all the way to our participation in political discussion and contribution to how our communities function. This is especially true for people who are disadvantaged in the eyes of the crowd because of being different in some way, like a disability. That in itself can lead people to misunderstand or judge, so it is my mission to make myself as eloquent and well spoken as possible. Hopefully this will be some encouragement to the next generation of orators, who will take our place as the voice of our communities in the future. So I urge everyone to take a second the next time you want to express yourself and think about the things you want to say and what effect it will have on those to come.
Monday, July 30, 2012
Apia and more...
On the trip
to Apia we got
to see some more of the island as we travelled overland, taking a different
route to the one we had taken from Aggie Greys to the Sinalei. We travelled
through several villages (including David Tua’s hometown) and passed many family
farms and gardens, some of which had stalls selling their surplus goods. Others
sell their goods through collectives or to exporters based in Apia, where there is a produce/fish market
and a craft market. Both are open six days a week, Monday to Saturday. The
craft market that we spent several hours at was in a large warehouse with rows
of small stalls selling jewellery, carvings, jandals, t-shirts, weaving and
numerous other things. Almost all of the goods seemed targeted to tourists but
there were a lot of local people wandering through as well. The most crowded
area was the food court, particularly at lunch time, but I was really amazed
that almost all the food looked to be deep fried. The only things that weren’t
were banana cake and fresh orange juice as far as I could see. We ended up
going to a café and getting something a bit healthier looking, which had the
bonus of being cooler with air conditioning, as by that time we were beginning
to melt a bit in the heat.
After lunch
we walked the rest of the way trough town on our way to Aggie Greys by the
harbour where we were meeting the taxi van. We found out that Aggie Grey is a
business empire of sorts in Samoa or at least on Upolu, as there are two
locations that the hotels is located at as well as several souvenir/food
outlets we saw with the same name.
On our trek
we followed along the boulevard/shore wall and enjoyed the sea breeze. This
also gave us a great view of the harbour and the church and government
buildings along the road. It was fascinating to see and work out the influences
of various international groups and other countries and how that has changed
over time as seen by the various buildings age, size and quality. One major
feature of Samoa was the number and variety of churches, both in Apia and along the
village roads. The level of pride that the villages and congregations place in
these buildings was evident in the size, structure and “flashiness” of the
buildings. Also the fact that a number of the existing churches were clearly
being added to or upgraded reinforced this perception. It is a major part of
peoples lives in the villages and pretty much everything stops on Sunday’s as
people attend church once or twice on that day, as well as spending time with
family on this ‘rest day’.
My Mum,
Nana, best friend and sister attended a church on the Sunday while we were
there. They travelled to a local Catholic church, near the resort, although
there is a variety nearby. They told me it was a lovely service, although they
couldn’t understand much if any of what was said as it was spoken in Samoan.
But they all felt that the most beautiful things about the experience was
listening to the singing and seeing the ladies clothes and hats. It was also a
great way to see how communities come together and how families interact and
behave. It was a particularly good place to learn about the protocols and
hierarchies of respect. My sister mentioned a little child who was being
disruptive and so was being handed around amongst family to settle him, but in
the end was too much trouble for someone so was sent to the granddad or one of
the other male elders. The elder man gave him a tap which quieted the child and
made him settle and then the granddad gave the child a hug which made the kid
smile again before he settled down for the rest of the service. It was
interesting to hear a story like this to know how children and adults
communicate in these situations.
Another
experience of a part of Samoan culture was the Culture Day that the Sinalei
holds weekly. There is a talk about weaving and other aspects of Samoan culture
such as Ava (kava) drinking and sharing some traditional stories which goes for
one hour, then a talk and demonstration of Umu (hangi) cooking later in the
afternoon. It was interesting to compare what I knew of things from other
countries in the Pacific including New Zealand that have related cultural
aspects and seeing how they connected to what we were being told. The day was
finished with a dinner cooked in the Umu that we had seen earlier and a
cultural performance of dance, singing and fire throwing/dancing. It was very
impressive with the voices of the performers creating such lovely melodies with
the accompaniment of various drums and a guitar. The fire performing was truly amazing
with the youngest performer being only eleven years old.
All the
employees and performers at the resort were local people who all walked to
work. It seemed that the majority of people, from school kids to the elderly
walked everywhere and if they didn’t walk they might take one of the quirky
public buses. We saw these during our day in Apia, with their old school box-y look with
bright paint work and quirky individual names. We were told that the buses were
converted trucks with the shell of the cabin with the passenger seats attached
to the deck on the back of truck. I think these old trucks may have been old
army trucks possibly from World War 2.
As I
mentioned the roads are not particularly crowded, at least they weren’t at the
times we were out. The private vehicles we saw were a mix of older cars and
flatbed trucks that were a mix of European and American made cars, so some were
left and some right hand drive, which was confusing to me. We saw a larger
number of vehicles for the first time when we reached Apia on the market day coming up to a set of
traffic lights. Initially I was a bit surprised to know that Apia had several sets of traffic lights but
then I found out that frequently they don’t work so it didn’t really matter to
the people. It then became a matter of close your eyes and trust the driver, two
of the intersect lights that morning weren’t in operation at the time. Other
then the slightly scary experience at the lights everything else about the
roads was pretty good.
All the
roads are sealed (or at least the ones we travelled on) and seemed in really
good condition but they are a lot narrower then the main roads we are used to
in NZ. The marked speed limit seemed to be quite low but many of the drivers on
the ‘open road’ seemed to be treating it as a guideline more then a rule
(particularly the drivers we had). But for all the ‘playing chicken’ with
oncoming vehicles and dodging dogs, chickens and numerous school children the
roads seemed very safe. I think partly this was because of the frequent speed
bumps to catch out unwary speeders and that people generally seemed like
chilled out friendly drivers.
Food and Accommodation
In Samoa the main exports are unprocessed goods like fish,
banana, coconuts, taro and other food goods. There are processed forms of
coconut products like coconut milk and copra that are also on the major export
list as well as other lesser products. Many of these locally and regionally
grown goods were part of the menu at both Aggie Greys Lagoon Beach Resort and
at the Sinalei Spa & Resort where we stayed for the week. The focus for the
Sinalei menu was organic and locally grown, as part of their efforts to support
local growers. The major feature was fresh fruit, used in the breakfast menu
and desserts and sauces in the lunch and dinner menus. Fish and prawns were the
main protein (understandably) on the lunch and dinner lists which was cooked in
a number of different forms, which were always delicious. One of my favourites
was seafood pasta that I had one lunch, it was spicier then I would usually eat
but I loved it. I was also surprised by the availability of beef, chicken and
pork on the menu. I had forgotten about the long presence of pigs and chickens
on the islands. These were introduced by the colonialists, but I definitely
didn’t expect cattle. According to one of the local drivers many people raise their
own chickens and pigs and some people keep small herds of cattle in amongst the
banana palms and other fruit trees. One of the food items I enjoyed the most
was the papaya or pawpaw, which I ate most days as a smoothie or as a crumble
for dessert, aside from any part it might have had as a sauce or condiment in
other dishes. It was a surprise for me to enjoy the fruit so much, as back home
I am not usually much of a fruit person, but the papaya from the island is
amazing, so different and much better then what is available in New Zealand.
The other big
industry for Samoa like New
Zealand is tourism. When we were there it
was during term time and right at the end of university break time, so there
were fewer travellers around. Because of our flight times, arriving so
late/early, we stayed one night at Aggie Greys about 10 minutes away from the
airport. It was a fabulous introduction to the tourist experience on the
island. The grounds and main buildings were beautiful with many tropical plants
and architecture in a mix of traditional and luxurious European style. An example
of this was the impressive lobby/arrival desk, which was a large high roofed Fale (traditional open sided Samoan house/meeting area). It was
an intricate wooden structure with luxurious European fittings like chandeliers
and marble/polished tile floors. The guest rooms where we spent that night were
much simpler but certainly comfortable, with an accessible open plan bathroom
and air-conditioning. In the morning things looked just as lovely, as we looked
around at breakfast. As I mentioned the main guest areas were large and
luxurious, with a pool and spa treatment rooms, but the guest rooms were
simple. This makes sense to me, as who really plans to spend much time in their
room when you are visiting such a beautiful place. I’m not sure whether there were a range of
rooms with different layouts and facilities or whether they are all the same. The
resort as a whole had more of a family and traveller feel and seemed quite
active, although the initial impression had been luxury and decoration, when we
arrived in the quiet of the night. The staff at the resort were very polite but
the most sociable were the desk assistants and the manager who was a young
charismatic Samoan man called Giovanni who previously worked at the Sinalei which is where
we stayed for the next four nights.
In
comparison the Sinalei was quite different. My initial impression was that it was similar to Aggies,
although the entrance was less
imposing and formal there was still a feel of luxury and quality. But this
impression of luxury I think was also to do with the setting and the balance of
unfamiliar and exotic architecture. Everything about the Sinalei was
beautiful and had an atmosphere of relaxation and calmness about it, with
natural looking water features alongside the main gathering areas like the
dining area and bar. This atmosphere of calm and relaxation as well as the
lower number of guests contrasted with the level of activity and larger numbers
at Aggie Greys. The people who greeted us at the Sinalei were personal and
friendly, seeming genuinely interested in who we were. I suppose it helped that
the resort was smaller and the guests are restricted to 12 years and older.
This helps to maintain the atmosphere that the resort is known for. It wasn’t
that the people at the other accommodation had been unfriendly but these people
seemed truly genuine and had the time and energy to stop for a chat. We, my
sister, friend and I in particular, made friends with the guys and young women
who were the waiting staff in the dining area. They would stop by our table on
their rounds to check in with us and share a joke or answer a question. I also
really appreciated their patience as sometimes some of my family members (who
will remain un-named) can be a little indecisive. We also enjoyed learning some
Samoan language from a couple of the guys who were generous with their time and
patient with our awkward but enthusiastic attempts.
While we
were staying at the Sinalei we had a ‘Spa Day’ the day before we went home,
which was a lovely way to end the trip. I had a facial and a hand massage while
the rest of the family had different types of massage. All of the sessions were
in small cabins down by the water with windows that could be opened to the sea
breeze. It was a lovely relaxing experience, although unfortunately the digger
was being operated on the barge in the harbour, which was a bit noisy. The
ladies who did the treatments were all so attentive and kind, being
particularly gentle with me. I was surprised to find out that the lady who did
my treatment had a relative who was deaf, but worked as a wood carver for the
resort. It was so nice to hear that there were some opportunities for people
with disabilities on the island, particularly after our trip to Apia and seeing
a number of buskers and people just waiting on the street who were blind due to
illness.
I will talk
more in my next entry about my experience of Apia and some of my impressions of the
transport and my tourist’s experience of the wonderful Samoan culture.
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Tropical experience
Travelling
to Samoa was a totally surreal experience for
me as I had never really thought I would go to such a place and it was simultaneously so similar to
but so different from the brochures, advertising and images that are conjured
by traveller’s stories. There were of course the palm trees, banana and coconut
trees as well as all the other gorgeous bright tropical vegetation and flowers
but there was so much more to every aspect of the country and its people that I
hardly know where to start.
I guess firstly
I would have to admit that my experience was not exactly comprehensive in any
respect but I feel that the experience I had did change some of my perceptions
of the country as well as confirming some impressions and things I already
knew. I think to do my trip justice and to give an informative description of
the country and my experiences I will probably break it into several posts to
this journal.
Starting with
the geography of the country; it is made up of two main volcanic rock islands
called Upolu and Savaii, with 8 other islets
in the surrounding waters (some inhabited and others uninhabited). Both main
islands are mountainous at their heart with narrow inhabitable coastal plains.
This is where most of the population live and work, most people live on family
and community land, growing coconut, papaya and bananas as well as other food
crops like bread fruit, taro and manioke. The capital Apia
is on the northern edge of Upolu which is
where the international airport is located. We flew into Apia International
airport at about 1.30am on a Saturday (in July 2012) and it was approximately
26 degrees Celsius with quite a high humidity, although it is considered the
‘dry’ season at this time. We found out that although it was the dry season it
actually ended up raining almost the entire time we were there on the southern
coast where we stayed, which apparently is a reasonably recent change to the
climate of the island. As Apia and the northern part of the island had
apparently got sun for most of the same days, which we were told by locals at
the resort that this had been the reverse pattern until several years ago. But
despite the rain there really wasn’t any reason not to go out and enjoy the
water and the scenery, as the temperature remained in the mid to high 20’s even
without the presence of sun.
The islands
are surrounded by coral reefs which mean most of the beaches are fairly
sheltered, though there are still dangerous currents and undertows/rips that
swimmers and snorkelers still have to watch out for. Also when swimming or
snorkelling it is a really good idea to wear light canvas boat shoes or
something like that as there are sharp coral and rock formations as well as the
potential for things like stone-fish or other injurious sea-life. As well as
the dangerous sea life, (which are few) there are many beautiful and non
dangerous species to enjoy observing. Although I am not able to swim or snorkel
due to my condition my family did enjoy the water on my behalf, taking part in
the snorkelling, swimming and kayaking. They were fortunate enough to swim near
sea turtles on several occasions in the waters near our resort and saw a
variety of diverse brightly coloured coral fish. It was concerning to hear that
what I think was the Crown of Thorns starfish was extremely evident along the
reef. This along with the huge damage from the 2009 tsunami and other
activities has and is having a hugely negative impact on the health of the reef
and the ecosystem.
I got the
impression that most of the fish that is caught in the area is from the reef or
just outside of the reefs with only charters or big commercial fishing boats
heading out to the deep water well outside the reefs. This is just what my Dad
did as he is such an avid fisherman, taking a charter trip and catching and big
yellow fin tuna. Another participant on the same charter boat caught a Masi
masi which is a large green fish with a blunt squarish shaped head; it seemed
to be quite a popular fish to eat and was served as the fish of choice at the
resort. The other type of fish used, that I think was more often eaten by the
locals was the Parrot fish which is a lot smaller then the grown Masi masi. I
will talk more about the local crops, our trip to Apia markets and travelling around the island
in my next entry.
Friday, July 6, 2012
Tropical Times
Travelling
is generally a challenge at some point whether on a practical, emotional or
psychological level. But for many people with a disability I would imagine it
is more on the physical side of challenges. Certainly that is my experience
because of my Muscular Dystrophy condition. Periodically I have played around
with the idea of travelling again as my mood and health have ebbed and flowed.
The most recent was my brief foray into day-dreams about a trip to America, which didn’t materialize. This then transformed
into ideas of returning to Australia.
Unfortunately I also had to face the practicalities of life regarding that idea
as well. After that reality check I had put the idea of travel to bed. Coincidentally though, it wasn't long
after that I was offered the temptation of a winter escape to Samoa
with my family.
It was initially a bit of a shock for me as I
had never considered the Pacific
Islands as a destination
that would be suitable for me with all the equipment I have and my mobility
restrictions. I am also by nature and necessity a create of comfort and like to
be in places and situations where I can still be ‘independent’ in my electric
wheel chair and all the other things that help me feel comfortable. So it took
some persuasion from friends and family and some introspection on my own to
decide that it was the right time to say ‘YES LETS!! I was still a little
anxious about the practicalities but the family motto has always been ‘anything
is possible if you want it enough’. So here I am a week out from my departure
date and feeling much happier with just a few remaining butterflies in my
stomach.
As always
my adventures are learning experiences and require planning and strategizing on
a level akin to a military invasion. Fortunately this trips plan has been in
the capable hands of my mum and her local travel agent. In some ways this has
been a weight off my mind after previous travel planning escapades involved me
being in charge. This time though, with me not taking the lead it has been
testing my inner conductor/control freak to have someone else make the
arrangements. I have not entirely been hands off as mum has worked with me
around finding out things I already know.
As a result of our shared input and her own planning mum has learned a
lot about the challenges and complexities of travelling with my current
condition, regulations of airlines and travel companies. All of which have
changed since I last went overseas with the family when I was much younger. It
has been great to bring out some of my previous learning’s, namely; which airlines
can accommodate my needs, the information they need regarding mobility
arrangements, seating, transport, packing and paperwork.
Because
this expedition will be a new destination and circumstances are different I
have had the chance to learn a few new things.
- Get a letter from your GP or specialist outlining your condition and listing any and all medication you will be travelling with. Keep a copy with you in your hand luggage and a copy in your suitcase for safety.
- Take your medication or at least a portion with you in labelled and/or sealed containers/bottles in case your luggage is lost in transit. This would be especially important if you need regular doses to stay well and functioning.
- If you are taking a manual wheelchair, make sure you have some way of securing foot rests and any other removable parts so that they can’t be lost. For example the manual chair I am taking has a removable head rest, back rest and foot plates and I am going to ensure that they can’t totally dismantle my chair. This will hopefully stop any damage or alterations to the specific settings on my seating.
- If you have a special cushion to sit on it is a great idea to take it with you for sitting comfortably on the aeroplane.
- Check with airlines or via your travel agent whether the airline will be able to provide the arrangements or assistance you need to board and exit the plan, as well as using the bathroom while flying if necessary. For me I will need a seat harness for the plane seat to help me sit upright and will also need an aisle chair to get to and from my seat. (An isle chair is a narrow, basic wheelchair that you can transfer into and be wheeled to your seat and then transfer or be assisted across.)
- Make sure you leave plenty of time for everything, including planning and research. This is particularly important if you need specific facilities or equipment. An example for me is the need to rent an oxygen concentrator for use at night. There were none available in Samoa that I could find but there is a company in New Zealand called Invacare who can rent out different machines, depending on the requirements.
- Take a basic tool kit if you are travelling with equipment, for example I will take an Allen key set, plumber’s waterproof tape and a tire patching kit to be able to make temporary repairs on my chair if needed.
Monday, July 2, 2012
Pity
Attitudes
are central to informing how we act and speak. As an advocate for disability
rights and as someone with life experience of disability I know how important
this is. This has had a big impact on the way I live and what I speak about in
my public talks. Generally I am encouraged by people’s positive attitudes about
disability awareness, inclusion and valuing of talents in individuals, rather
then the focus on weakness, deficit and loss. It is one of my major focuses in
my work with people, to help them realize what impact they can have to support
and improve others lives just by their words.
I feel very
strongly about issues of discrimination, disempowerment, control or inequality
in any circumstance. But due to my personal experiences my main focus is
disability. It is difficult to understand when people still hold on to old
attitudes that have clearly and for good reasons become outdated and therefore
obsolete. This brings me on to my main point of this little rant.
Yesterday
at a gathering where I was speaking about my life, opportunities I have had and
how important helpers have been in supporting this. I met someone who gave me a
wakeup call on my perception that everyone had caught up with the memo about
pity being out and positivity being in. But anyway, to make this situation
clearer I will fill you in a bit more. As I have mentioned I speak about my
life, the people who have been and are part of making it what it is, as well as
some of the influencing factors like policy, societal values and attitudes. Overall
I was happy with my performance and the audience seemed receptive to my
message. But during my Q & A session I was confronted with something that I
have not had to deal with for a long time- a person who seemed to pity me and
my situation.
I speak for
myself as a person, not just one with a disability, that I do not want pity! I
do not ask for pity. I do not get out of bed each morning and think “How can I
get more pity and sympathy today?” As a
result I had difficulty answering the questions without making pointed remarks
about how I keep focused on the positive things in my life and tried to keep on
topic. My reaction to this person was initially A) shock that they were going
to be working in the disability field and B) surprisingly, anger. Anyone that
knows me will say I generally would be the last person to show frustration but
this experience really needled me. Am I over-reacting, I ask myself. Possibly!
But I just don’t know how to comprehend this experience. Her attitude that came
through in her questions and comments were of the “poor you” type. It was like
getting slapped in the face with a wet fish.
This
experience has clarified for me just how much I dislike being pitied and it has
made me more determined to help change the remaining negative perceptions
around disability. Yes, I admit there are hard days and times where things seem
unfair, but we all have these kinds of days. So I ask everyone who lives with
or has experienced disability do we need pity, or would we rather receive
positive encouragement and support? I would say I would rather have the
empowering and helpful input of people to make more things possible rather then
focusing on what’s not.
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