Violence and hate

None of our nations are perfect and human nature isn't perfect either, but to have so many flawed pieces of legislation which have gone unchanged despite so many tragedies..... It just blows my mind. The fact that the elected representatives of the US Senate have not done their duty to the good of the people and changed these laws, which allow and even facilitate these acts of violence is an outrage.Looking in from an outsiders perspective and being a citizen of New Zealand, born to a nation with gun control, the arguments that still persist and prevent change are nothing more than hot air.

It is a supremely tragic day for the people of Orlando, Florida and particularly the LGBTQ+ community who were so clearly the target of this attack. Even as a person living halfway across the world, my heart aches for these people. The even more saddening fact is that there have been so many other incidents like this over the years and yet nothing has been done to limit the availability of firearms in the United States at a Federal level.

Events like this disgust me and I think, ironically one week before my departure for my trip to the States, my fairy-tale obsession with the USA has been shattered. I can no longer see it as a place of fun and adventure and opportunities. You might say "don't let your passion for a place and it's people be tainted by one act of violence" and my reply is that it is not one, it is many. Attacks like this have happened over and over again in various places and at various times. These events will continue to happen while firearms are still freely available in an environment where there is still so much hatred.
America is not the land of the free, it is the land of the fearful. It has gone from the ideals of equality, with thoughts that any person can step foot onto the land and make a success of their lives to one where so many millions struggle to get by on a daily basis. It was a system founded on hope. But these days it seems that less and less of the people of that large and diverse country can truly say they still see those values in their nation.

My heart goes out to those who are suffering as a direct and indirect result of this violence. I want to present my solidarity with the communities, whoever they are, that face discrimination and the daily risk of unwarranted violence against them. This is not a time to be divided, but a time to draw together and recognize each others humanity. It is a clear time to act in the best interests of that humanity.

Peace be with those suffering. ‪#‎lovenothate‬ ‪#‎loveislove‬ ‪#‎peace‬ ‪#‎stoptheguns‬ ‪#‎PulseOrlando‬ ‪#‎stopthehate‬ ‪#‎Pride‬ ‪#‎LGBTQ‬+

New years thoughts

I wrote the following piece some time ago, I actually have no real idea when, but I found it in an old journal. It seemed particularly relevant with all of the struggles and decisions going on around the world regarding what we are doing to nature and what in turn this is doing to us. We need to take off our shoes in the start of this new year and take some time to feel the earth and remember what sustains us. It's not a nice house and fancy car, it's the health and abundance of nature.

Losing sight

Lost sight of reality

 Wandering our concrete jungles obsessed with the numbers of the machine

Time, taxes, test scores…

Walls shut out the breeze

Roofs shut out the sky

But we shut out everything

When tomorrow is no different to our today

Merely existing, toiling and disconnected.

Damaging ourselves by shutting out the world,

Losing our roots that have sustained us

Rewind the clock, break down the walls

Remember the wisdom

And wonder of nature

Nature is life, we are part of life.

We are not meant to be cut off

Separation allows complacence, greed

And suspicion to grow.

Nurture and reconnect, our lives will flourish

As well the land and waters

If we care and protect them

As we do with false riches

And empty happiness now.

Today needs to be more than our tomorrow,

It needs to be the world’s future.

Hello Young One

It's okay to act like a child sometimes. In fact it's important not to forget our inner child. Remembering that part of ourselves can help us access so much creativity, hope and happiness that can get pushed aside when we let the pressures of being a "grown up" take over. Embrace your inner child once in a while and see where it leads you.

That inner child gives me some of the optimism and hope I need when I face obstacles. It is the part of me that encourages me to "just listen to one more Disney song", even though it's 12.10am and I know I have to get up early. But even with those moments of "bad" decisions, I rarely if ever regret it, because I enjoy that time and it makes me happy.

Listening to your inner child and not being afraid to roll in the autumn leaves or splash in puddles or laugh till your sides hurt is what I see as living life fully and with joy. I hope life doesn't ever succeed in blocking out the voice of my inner child and I hope I can look back on my life and say truthfully that the 5 year old me would have wanted to be proud.

I will always remember this quote when thinking of my younger self;
"Take the hand of your inner child, the small you, and guide him or her as you would your own son or daughter. Remind this child to look for love, strength and understanding inside you rather than in the projected fantasies around them. Look after this child inside of you, no one else can. Love yourself and don't forget to play."

Storm Struck or Star Struck?

Have you ever experienced that point between waking and sleep where your conscious mind losses touch with reality and you would swear that you were in another time or place? This is a very bizarre sensation that I think can give insight into what’s occupying our subconscious, just as our dreams can.

Registering the flash of lightning and the loud crash of thunder rattled my sleeping mind and brought me to semi consciousness, to the point where I also registered that there was pouring rain. Usually this would just be a passing acknowledgement before dropping back into dreamland, but in this case it was different. There was a moment, I think before I had fully achieved consciousness where I clearly remember being shocked but thrilled that is was raining so heavily and justifying the fierceness of the lightning storm as being the product of the California desert climate. It was a moment of celebration as I thought the drought had broken and that this could be a very exciting night if the intensity of the storm continued. Opening my eyes a minute later I was confronted with the confusing unfamiliarity of a room that slowly registered in my mind as my own.

I was no longer in Los Angeles or its surrounds but back in my bed in little old Hamilton, New Zealand. This was both reassuring and disappointing as my sleep muddled mind could only register what Los Angeles was missing out on. Or perhaps it was my subconscious trying to tell me what I was missing after having just returned from two weeks of amazing experiences in Los Angeles and Anaheim. Fortunately or unfortunately my brief but profound return to consciousness didn’t last for more than the next couple of thunder crashes before I descended back into slumber.

When I woke this morning I was hit again by the memory of the storm experience and I was left with a sense of wistful reminiscence and strengthened determination to find a way to return to LA at some point in the future. It has clearly been a place with experiences and people who have left a mark on me and I will continue on with this added richness to my life and see where this crazy life takes me next. I am sure that the next few days and weeks will be filled with reminiscing and retelling of events to friends and family. I can only hope that the shine and freshness of these memories won’t dissolve into the shadowy recesses of my mind, as I want to keep the glow and excitement of that time with me always.

Counting up and downs

Recently my days have been spent on a see-saw of anxiety and excitement. Sometimes I feel like I am raised high and have the thrill of being seemingly suspended in the air, but then with a whoosh and bump I land in anxiety. It is this up and down experience that is leading me one day at a time to what has been a goal and dream in some form for years.

Travel has always represented freedom, discovery and adventure to me and all others who have the urge to travel in their soul. I have been fortunate to have been on a number of journeys, both here and overseas, but I have always had this urge to see further afield.

Over the last couple of years the United States has developed an inexplicable allure for me, where before it wasn't especially interesting. I suppose it is a place that both fascinates and horrifies me. A place that offers such difference and diversity in its abundance and poverty is bound to intrigue the anthropologist in me. At the same time there is a part of me that wants to see the bright lights and glitzy hype of the center of America's movie and television industry-Hollywood and Los Angeles at large.

It is with excitement and trepidation, as well as the conflict of my inner anthropologist with my heart of a teenage fangirl that I continue on this see-saw of a countdown, entering my last week till take-off. There are sure to be challenges and excitement of all kinds but overall I am willing to face them and enjoy them with the company of my wonderful traveling companions.

Tongue-tied:a poem

I wish that I could borrow a word or snatch a phrase from the mouths of those whose ability to turn a sound into a scene and confusion into clarity, flows with natural ease.

To catch a breath, that would allow the notes of a thousand silent divas or the ideas of 100 frustrated poets to spill forth from my clumsy tongue. 

The power and pent up emotion is caged and fettered by the limits of the space it has been granted 

Dreams of poetic passion and elegant eloquence are lacking to my own ears, as I strive, grasping and faltering to try to create the smooth magic of others words. 

Few realize the full force of a symphonies masterpiece if it is only played with one violin string. That is the gap that spans between my words and my voice . But if my tongue lacks subtlety or my voice lacks power 

I will find a way for you to feel my words, 

to feel me. 

I will repeat myself over and over until you do.

Conflict or Conversation

"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted every time I am contradicted" -R.W Emerson

It seems so easy these days with fragile egos and larger than life personalities for a simple conversation to turn into a battle ground. Listening to conversations go from an exchange of ideas and opinions to a verbal fist fight is not the best example for public figures or any adult to be setting for those around them.

I understand that there is definitely a line between good communication in which people take ownership of their ideas and opinions versus those who attack with their words or try to make it a personal issue. Having the experience of living in a physically disadvantaged position I have met people who see this as a reason to assume and to dominate in conversation. Other times it can trigger people to be extra delicate in how they address conversations to someone in my position. Neither of these approaches should be acceptable or reasonable in conversation with anyone. Just as I have learned to correct peoples misinformed assumptions about my personal capabilities, I feel people should be able to express themselves and their opinions in a respectful but direct way.

Seeing so many public figures ending up on the verge of open argument on T.V and the popularity of shows like Keeping up with the Kardashian's encourages narcissism, which is a significant contributor to the difficulties that face scenarios of open dialogue these days.

As someone who has grown up with people who have difficulty in discussing things without feeling personally affronted it has encouraged me to sharpen my conversation and presentation abilities to avoid some of the traps that people can fall into. Because communication is so important in helping to change the opinions and behaviour surrounding issues key to our communities well being and the improvement of our country and humanity as a whole (not wanting to be over dramatic of course), I hope there is a return to calmness and rationality in how people approach communicating with each other.

The quote that began this rant is from Ralph Emerson, who I have written about previously and I feel that again his words have relevance beyond the time in which they were written. I hope that there will be people from my own generation whose words will last and reach out to future generations to inspire others to think more deeply and approach aspects of their lives with new positive perspectives.